Olney in New York!

Dear Buster Olney,

Stop being such a fucking baby.

So Joe Torre writes a book (with your own colleague Tom Verducci, no less) and whoops pow surprise! It turns out that Brian Cashman is a company man and A-Rod is a faggot. What a shock.

You think everyone didn't already know that A-Rod is a prima donna shitdick who cares more about P.R. (and I don't mean Puerto Rico, folks) than about whether his team wins or not? Did you think he was fooling anyone with his "I want to be a Yankee" friend-of-the-workingman shit? Just because Torre confirmed it doesn't mean that everyone didn't already know.


So Torre had "the scowl," as you call it, where he would chastise yellow journalists for bringing up sensational stories in press conferences. What the fuck did you expect him to do? Openly comment on these kinds of stories when he is still the manager of the team? And did you expect him to have any loyalty to Cashman or the organization after the way they unceremoniously booted his ass?

Maybe in your feeble little Yankee-lovin' mind, this is going to go down in infamy as Torre's own "I'm not here to talk about the past" moment if he doesn't fess up to writing all this stuff. But you have to remember one thing.

THE REST OF THE FUCKING COUNTRY DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE YANKEES AS MUCH AS YOU DO, BUSTER.

And maybe if you left your fucking cubicle once in a while, you might realize that there are more things out there in the world than the Yankees. And sorry, not every book written about the Yankees can be a sanctifying ode, like your own book The Last Night of the Yankee Dynasty, in which you swoon over "[Derek] Jeter's confidence, [Paul] O'Neill's intensity, [Tim] Raines' humor, [Joe] Girardi's professionalism."

And why do you give your boy Verducci a pass? You mention several times in the article that he wrote the words, but that Torre had to sign off on it. Why not chastise him for allowing his good name to be sullied by such depraved dreck?

Sorry Torre shitted on your squad, Buster, but he was only reinforcing what everbody ALREADY KNEW. You love the Yankees, you feel personally hurt by Torre's words ... we get it. How dare someone spit in the face of Yankee Universe?!?

Quit crying like a baggy-eyed little fruit and be a man, you fucking nerd.

Super Bowl Kerfuffle!

Considering that this year's Super Bowl teams have two of the douchiest theme songs on record, it's hard to choose. Behold:





Personally, I'll take the Cards just because they don't have that eardrum-exploding Picksburg accent.

Oscar? I Barely Know'er!

There are two things I love above all others: wasting time and making spreadsheets. I found a way to kill two proverbial birds with one hypothetical stone, by combining these with the Academy Awards.

There are cynics among you who will say that the Oscars are pointless, and that awards should not be given out for art. I kind of agree with the latter part, but as for the Oscars themselves ... well yes, they are pointless. But I like to go into them relatively well-informed. This will not be one of those years, being that I've seen about 3 movies this year, none of which will be considered for the Academy Award.

Why has your humble cineaste fallen so behind in his moviegoing? Well, going to the movies is on the expensive side, and it's hard to find someone to go with me. Also, let's face it, for the most part in the last 5 years or so, movies have ... well, completely sucked ass.

Gone is the scintillating era of the mid-1990s, where even Pulp Fiction ripoffs were fun and exciting. (And if you have to copy a movie, I'd rather have they do it with Pulp Fiction than these goddamn Sons of Saw III.) From about 1989 to about 1998, there was a torrent of innovative and well-crafted films, that also happened to be popular. Look at the list: Boogie Nights, Fargo, L.A. Confidential, sex lies & videotape, GoodFellas, The Usual Suspects, Glengarry Glen Ross, just to name a few. While not perfect, these films were a testament to storytelling innovation, outstanding dialogue, and most importantly, SUBTEXT.

Subtext is sorely lacking in modern cinema. We have movies like Crash, Brokeback Mountain, Million Dollar Baby, Babel, and Ray (again examples) that bat you over the noggin with exactly what they want you to know about their movies. They don't challenge like they once did. And even when the films of the 1990s were not challenging you with their meanings, they were usually challenging you in other ways, such as structure and conflicted characters.

Right now we are in a period that is similar to the 1979 to 1987 period in cinema, where precious little interesting or innovative films were being made. It's why we are seeing two major phenomena: big-time movie actors having their films go straight -- or at least very quickly -- to DVD (Nicholas Cage, Samuel L. Jackson, Al Pacino, Matthew McConaughey); and established movie actors going to TV (Laurence Fishburne, Tim Roth, Kyra Sedgwick, Gary Sinese, Alec Baldwin).

For the latter, it's not that actors are slumming it; they are smart. TV is better now than it's probably ever been, and movies are at their nadir. So why wouldn't an actor get a job with steady work on shows that are far better written than most of the movie crap that comes out. Compare the writing of shows like "The Wire," "The Sopranos" (even with all its flaws), "30 Rock," "The Office," "Mad Men," "Battlestar Galactica" and the like to Uwe Boll's latest reel of cinematic excrement.

Anyway, that is all neither here nor there. Since movies have been so shitty lately, I have naturally become nostalgic for the last two decades of films, waiting for the next great wave of moviemakers to come along. And I'm going to do something rather revolutionary. I am going to correctly predict all five of the Academy Award Nominees this year, before they are announced.

There is a methodology to my madness, and it is this: every Academy Award nominee of the last 20 ceremonies fall into one of ten categories. They are...

1. Feel-Good Movie:
This is a movie that has a happy, uplifting ending. It forces you to leave the theater with a grin on your grill and a song in your heart. (Examples: It Could Happen To You, Muriel's Wedding, A Christmas Story, It's a Wonderful Life.)


2. Quirky:
It's a little offbeat, and a little strange. It might have weird camera angles, wacky characters or some kind of goofy voiceover. It is usually slightly funny, often in a twisted or macabre way. (Examples: Spanking the Monkey, Buffalo '66, Barton Fink, Boogie Nights, Citizen Ruth, Harold and Maude, Fight Club.)


3. Period Piece:
No, it's not about a teenage girl, it's a movie that takes place in a different time, and sometimes in a different country. It harkens back to a more romantic era, and is usually hinged upon a romance. (Examples: Chinatown, Amadeus, Avalon, Ragtime, The Great Gatsby)


4. "Message" Film: 
It tells gives you a lesson at the end, hopefully one you will take with you when you leave theater. Sure it entertains you, but it also makes you think!!!! Often takes the shape of a courtroom drama. (Examples: 12 Angry Men, To Kill A Mockingbird, Judgment at Nuremberg, The Long Walk Home, The Best Years of Our Lives, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.)


5. Liberal Agenda:
Different from a message film in that it pushes forth a liberal agenda, rather than one of universal truth. Not always strictly liberal; sometimes just hippy-ish. (Examples: The Contender, A Few Good Men, The American President, Coming Home, Easy Rider, The Ghosts of Mississippi, Dances With Wolves, Amistad, The Cider House Rules.)


6. Epic:
By definition, longer than two-and-a-half hours, but often with the scope of several years or decades. (Examples: Lawrence of Arabia, Gone With the Wind, Heaven's Gate, The Godfather.)


7. Inspirational:
Makes you want to stand up and cheer for he who faced the odds and beat them! (Examples: The Shawshank Redemption, My Left Foot, The Pianist, Hotel Rwanda, A Beautiful Mind.)


8. Weepie:
If you walk out of this one without a tear in your eye, you haven't a heart in your chest. (Examples: The Color Purple, Old Yeller, Love Story, City Lights, Sophie's Choice, Kramer vs. Kramer.)


9. Gritty:
Raw, sometimes violent. Doesn't blink or let you off the hook. (Examples: GoodFellas, Narc, Saving Private Ryan, Reservoir Dogs, Se7en, Mean Streets, American History X, Requiem for a Dream.)


10. Surprise Hit:
This is a movie that no one expected to be this good or this popular, and therefore warrants a spot on the list. (Examples: Pirates of the Carribean, Moulin Rouge, The Sixth Sense, Babe, Little Miss Sunshine.)

Now, if you are interested in how the last 20 Oscar races have come out, HERE IS THE SPREADSHEET. It breaks each of the five nominees down into their categories -- and sometimes more than one -- for 1988-2007. That is 20 years of research. The numbers don't lie!

But based on that, here are what the five Oscar nominees WILL BE this year:

• The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (aka the Epic/The Weepie)
  
• Frost/Nixon (aka the Period Piece)
  
• Revolutionary Road (aka the Message Movie/Period Piece)
  
• Slumdog Millionaire (aka the Surprise Hit/Feel-Good Movie)
  
• Vicki Cristina Barcelona (aka the Quirky Comedy)

This WILL BE the list. Mark it down now and bet the house on it.

[UPDATE:

Wow, I blew that one. Three out of Five (The Reader and Milk instead of Vicki Cristina and Revolution Road.) But I'll get 4/5 next year. Write it down and bet the house on it!]

1/19/09

Tonight the Bush presidency saw its final sunset.

2008 Media Recap

A rundown of my media consumption this year...don't worry it's for posterity charity

Best Albums I Discovered (didn't necessarily come out in '08):

• Shearwater - "Palo Santo" and "Rook" - Dense, heavy folk music
  
• Bon Iver - "For Emma, Forever Ago" - Folky folks music
  
• Nerina Pallot - "Fires" - Great voice, catchy piano pop
  
• Stephen Malkmus - "Real Emotional Trash" - His best non-Pavement album ... except for "Pig Lib."
  
• MGMT - "Oracular Spectacular" - I first heard of them in 2007, but never thought they'd get big.
  
• Vampire Weekend - "Vampire Weekend" - I was late to jump on this train but it's a very good album.
  
• Panic at the Disco - "Pretty. Odd" - Not at all the type of album I'd like, but yet I did. What is happening to me?!
  
• Fleet Foxes - "Fleet Foxes"
  
• Tobacco - "F**ked Up Friends"
  
• Oh No - "Exodus into Unheard Rhythms" (2006) - Hip Hop in a time capsule from 1993.
  
• Switches - "Lay Down the Law"
  
  Best Shows:
  
• The Sarah Silverman Program
  
• Battlestar Galactica
  
• 30 Rock (although the 2008-09 season has started a little lackluster)
  
• The Venture Brothers (it's from a few years ago but it's probably the densest and most culturally-savvy show since the Simpsons)
  
• It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (I finally got caught up and it's great)
  
• The Colbert Report
  
• Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father - devestating, mesmerizing
  
• Summer Heights High - The UK version of The Office directed by Christopher Guest
  
  Best Movies:
  
• The Dark Night
  
• Iron Man
  
• My Winnipeg
  
• Tropic Thunder (for the first half hour or so)
  
• Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
  
• The Prestige - I know it came out in 2006, but I've been a little behind. It's one of the best mystery films I've ever seen. Ever. Seriously.
  
• The Bourne Ultimatum - I thought the other two Bourne movies were just okay, this one kicked some serious ass.
  
• Manufacturing Dissent - the best documentary out there exposing the fraud that is Michael Moore
  (it was a seriously weak year for movies)
  
  Two concerts I went to:
  
• Iron & Wine in Buffalo; Glen Hansard in Massachussetts
  
  Biggest Disappointments:
  
• Ben Folds' "Way To Normal" - All the things that have irked me about his songs the last few years have culminated into this steaming pile of shit.
  
  
• The Foot Fist Way - Indie cinema is dead, and if it's not, I will now have to kill it after this sporadically funny but ultimately sloppy farce.
  
  
• The Wire, Season 5 - It was still good -- still the best show on TV, in fact -- but it was the weakest season of the series; the "serial killer" angle was something out of a bad Al Pacino crime procedural.
  
  
• From the Earth To the Moon - yes the 1998 Tom Hanks NASA miniseries. Some episodes were pretty good, some really boring (especially the one with the device of a filmmaker following everyone around), but ultimately it was just a TV movie. I don't know what I expected, just something a little better I guess.
  
  
• The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - It was a great concept and pretty interesting at times, but ultimately it suffered from the same aimlessness that has plagued French cinema for decades.
  
  
• Amy Poehler on SNL - She is just not all that funny, and her Hillary Clinton impression -- though iconic -- sounds absolutely nothing like Frau Cankles herself.
  
  
• Dane Cook "Rough Around the Edges" - the first chink in the Dane Train's armor; too dirty, too inside and just not funny enough. With this and his shitty movies, we may be seeing an epic shark-jump.
  
  Websites:
  
• Deadspin - Not as much as I used to since I don't read it at work anymore, but it's still the best place to find the "comedy pyramid"
  
• Politico, Talking Points Memo, Five Thirty Eight, RealClearPolitics, Wonkette, Pollster.com and just about any other left-leaning website in the universe this past year.
  
• BeerAdvocate
  
• BeerJanglin'! - naturally...
  
• Google Reader - now all my unhealthy obsessions in one easy-to-read interface!
  
• MP3Sale dot are-you. We'll keep it our own dirty little secret.
  
• Last.fm and Pandora - since I am too lazy to read about music and need someone who will tell me what to like.
  
• Wikipedia - the best site in the history of the internet, errors be damned!
  
  Odds and Ends:
  
• Hard N Phirm - the "Pi" song is a corker
  
• Tori Schulman from "Movie Up"
  
• "Firefly" the TV series and its movie follow-up "Serenity"
  
• POTUS '08 on XM Radio - my obsession for about 10 months until Election day
  
• The Vice Presidential Debate - the epic battle between the MILF and the Mouth
  
• Brian Regan's "The Epitome of Hyperbole" - finally a TV special that captures the genius of the greatest stand-up comic of our time
  
• Rock Band and Rock Band 2 - don't drink the haterade, it's a real hoot.
  
• Opie and Anthony and Li'l Jimmy Norton - outside of their Jill Nicolini phase, they did some great stuff this year. FRUNKIS! It's still my go-to radio show, even though I get Howard now too.
  
• Giants beating New England in the Super Bowl. What a wonderful wonderful moment in human history. Of course, no one in the LIBERAL MEDIAL will mention that in three consecutive seasons the Patriots have a) blown an 18-point lead to lose the AFC Championship, b) blown a perfect record to lose the Super Bowl and c) missed the playoffs (yeah yeah, I know Brady was out, cry my a river). Choke much, Bill Belicheat?
  

So there you have it, 365 days of me sitting on my ass. Hope you enjoyed it.

Oh the Minutes I've Wasted!

My 525,600 minutes? Most of them were spent:

• Drinking awesome beer
  
• Sleeping
  
• Not getting laid
  
• On the shitter
  
• Blogging
  
• Driving
  
• Pretending to work
  
• Eating delicious foods that were bad for me
  
• Clearing out my DVR even though I wasn't in the mood to watch the shows on it
  
• Calling other motorist "c--ts" and "c--ks--kers"
  
• Calling the Bills "a--holes" and "f--king d--chebags"
  
• Calling Republicans "f--ggots" and "motherf--kers"
  
• Sitting on a train
  
• Texting Willie with great/awful puns
  
• Not cleaning my apartment
  
• Not paying my bills
  
• On the computer
  
• On the computer
  
• On the computer

And the rest of it was just wasted. Ba-dum-BUM!


Happy New Year everybody!

The Year In Review in Word Clouds

Here was my blogging year in a nutshell, or rather a Word Cloud. Looks like I wasted a whole year writing it.

JANUARY


FEBRUARY


MARCH


APRIL


MAY


JUNE


JULY


AUGUST


SEPTEMBER


OCTOBER


NOVEMBER


DECEMBER

What Bill Told Scarlett

Lost in Translation is one of my favorite indie movies of the 2000s. Not just because it has Bill Murray and a young heartthrob named Scarlett Johansson (now Mrs. Ryan *spit* Reynolds, and no it won't last more than 5 years absolute TOPS).

The movie is about two Americans who meet each other while temporarily stationed in Tokyo. They are both in unhappy relationships, and though they are very far apart in age, they strike a connection that blossoms into a very subtle romance. So subtle, in fact, that it isn't really considered an "official" romance until the last 30 seconds or so of screen time.

The film is a metaphor for finding a connection with another person in a world where you don't feel you are understood. There are lots of shots of these characters isolated, in their hotel rooms, or sitting by themselves. Lots of static camera angles and slow, deliberate -- some would even say boring -- scenes. In fact none of the Japanese dialogue in the film is subtitled, further adding to the sense of alienation and solitude.

It's only when these to serendipitously find each other that the film begins to "pic up," both in pace and in tone.

The climax -- and one of the more intriguing scenes in recent film history -- is the very last scene of the movie. Bill Murray has to catch a flight back to his home in Los Angeles (coincidentally also where the Johansson character lives), but before he leaves, he tracks her down. He hugs her, but before he goes, he whispers something in her ear. It is pretty much inaudible (and yes, I watched it with the subtitles on just to be sure my ears weren't going bad).

In the video below, someone digitally altered the sound and figured out what he said to her. And it's not some jokey, fake "gotcha" in case you were wondering. You can actually hear him say it. And what's great about it is that you could basically tell in the movie that this is roughly what he said, but it was so much better that they kept it a secret.

If you haven't seen the movie, you may want to skip this video... but go out and rent it. If you've always wondered, here it is.

Freestyle Rap Battle: Translated

This is goddamn brilliant!

A Christmas Terrell

Santa brought me an early Christmas gift: a Terrell Owens interview where he gets to cry about how unfair life is.

Is anyone else getting sick of this asshole? He is perpetually instigating and causing trouble, and then he is constantly complaining about how he's unfairly criticized. He doesn't seem to realize that it's easy for anyone to just disappear into quiet life. And you can't be universally beloved when a) you are constantly drawing attention to yourself, because anyone well known will be disliked by a certain segment of the populations, and b) you are a complete and utter dick.



One thing I will give Owens credit for, however, is his command of the King's English. Behold.

"There were reports that myself, Roy and Patrick all got together, you know, and I'm the head honcho of all this."
- Owens on the meeting he had with his teammates. I think it's telling that Terrell doesn't really understand what the term "head honcho" means. He also uses the tried-and-true method of attempting to make himself look more intelligent by referring to himself in the first person as "myself." Well played.

"It seems like every time something happens or arises, I'm the blame. I'm the pitfall for everything."
- Owens on how everyone is so mean to him. To me, the phrase "I'm the pitfall" is one that should enter the English lexicon, and NOW. To say "I'm the fall guy" would assume that Owens has any cultural awareness or basic knowledge of colloquial idioms.

"We're trying to make a playoff push, and every game, thereafter, is critical for us!"
- Owens, talking about the Cowboys needs to right the ship. Again, Owens -- by using the word "thereafter" -- attempts to polysyllabically get himself out of looking like a dummy. (He does the same thing a few sentences later when he uses the word "amongst.")

"We know what kind of usplosive offense we have, and we know we have a lot of capable players ... of making plays."
- Owens, advancing the spoken word.

"Just say give this incident, for example."
- Owens, clearly meaning to say, "For instance...."

And yet the cold hard fact is that he makes more during a bye week than I will make over the next twenty years.

Of course, Stephen A. Smith likes to get into the act to saying that someone in the Cowboys organization "evidently said something to him along those lines, essentially to sully your name," not only doing a great impression of the Damon Wayons character on "In Living Color" who used to use big words he didn't understand, but also to imply that somehow the name "Terrell Fucking Owens" hadn't been sullied like seven years ago.

I love this new hero worship by our sports media. Makes me definitely not hate ESPN or sports in general at all.

How's This For Depressing?

Well not for you, but for me.

I just looked at a calendar, and it turns out that the next time my birthday falls on a Saturday will be in 2018. That is over 9 years from now.

My 2012 Birthday (#36) will be on a Friday; due to leap years, my 2013 birthday (#37) will be on a Sunday.

It will be my 42nd birthday.

That will be the next time that my birthday falls on a Saturday. The next time I am able to both sleep in AND stay up late on my birthday will be #42. And by that time, I'm pretty sure I will naturally get up at 5:30 AM and fall asleep at 7:30 PM.

We're basically looking at a full decade before I get another Saturday birthday. Think of all the things that will have happened by then:

• Obama will have completed both of his presidential terms, and we will be in the midst of the midterms of the Tim McGraw presidency.
  
• The Bills will have missed the playoffs for the 19th consecutive year.
  
• Zac Efron will have won that elusive third Oscar.
  
• Guns-N-Roses' "Chinese Democracy II" will only be three years from release.
  
• VH-1 will complete their "I Love the 2010s" series... apparently.
  
• Cancer will be cured; male-pattern baldness will still haunt me. I will have the same amount of grey hair that I do now.
  
• I will get around to organizing my magazines.
  
• I will still be adorable.

So if you happen to see me on a Saturday, and it's my birthday. Buy me a beer.

I'll be dead shortly after.

Tobacco Addict

I am down with this new band guy called Tobacco, and their his album "F**ked up Friends." He is part of the group Black Moth Super Rainbow, a group that has a similar sound, but is way more "normal" I suppose.

Tobacco sounds like a combination of Boards of Canada and a 1970s PBS kids show. And the videos are insane, mostly clips of exercise videos and possibly even 1980s porn. I think I love it. Rather than doing the post-modern irony thing favored by, say, The Beastie Boys or Beck, they just abandon the usual MTV quick-cuts and let each video play out for a few seconds in all its kitschy glory.

Check out of some of their videos, and by all means, enjoy... although don't do it at work, just to be safe. Might not be your thing (music or videos) but to me they are mesmerizing.

STREET TRASH


TRUCK SWEAT


HAWKER BOAT


SIDE 8


BERRIES THAT BURN


GROSS MAGIC


LITTLE PINK RIDING HOOD


BACKWOODS ALTAR

Awesome Show Alert: Summer Heights High

To call Summer Heights High (on HBO for 8 episodes) an Australian version of the British version of The Office wouldn't be doing it justice. On its face it sounds like kind of a gay idea: have one guy play three different characters that attend one school, and see what happens.

It sounds like a bad Mike Meyers project, I know. But trust me, this show is goddamned hilarious.

The three characters are: Mr. G, a super-effeminate music and theater teacher who is as oblivious as The Office UK's David Brent but maybe even more selfish; Ja'mie (pronounced ZHA-may), a transfer student from a ritzy high school who tries to ingratiate herself with the "cool kids" at the new school; and Jonah, a Tongan thug who hangs around with other Tongans and gets into all sorts of trouble.



If you didn't know better, you would think that Mr. G was gay, Ja'mie was a real girl, and Jonah was really 13 years old. But what makes the show isn't the parlor trick of having one person play all the parts, Peter Sellers-style. It's the writing.

For example, the third episode featured a junior student dying of a drug overdose. Mr. G responds by writing a musical about the girl's life called "One Girl, One Pill." Most of the songs talk about how the girl was a slut and a drug addict. I couldn't possibly do it justice. In the first episode, one particular line made me laugh for about 5 minutes: all I'll say is "Tsunamarama."

I use the Office UK comparison only to give an idea of the style of humor, since it's very subtle, with no laugh track and lots of quick jokes that hit you and then immediately switch to another scene, just like Ricky Gervais's masterpiece. Though it's Australian, it bears little-to-no resemblance to Flight of the Conchords, but is more like a Christopher Guest miniseries.

So even if you can't stand Australians, comedy, actors playing multiple parts, high school or Tongans, give this show a shot. You know you can trust me.

Two Awesome Videos

There are two really cool videos on the internet right now.

The first is the new trailer for Watchmen, which comes out 03.06.09 and is probably gonna be awesome. The book is great, and the original trailer is badass too. Here's the original (which doesn't give you much idea of what the movie is about, but is very atmospheric and moody):



The new trailer actually gives you an idea what the movie is about, although if it's anything like the book, any expectation the beginning of the movie gives will be shattered by the credits. The movie is being directed by Zack Snyder, who directed 300, a movie that I expected to hate and dismiss as an all-flash-no-substance visual extravaganza. Needless to say, 300 is one of the most badass movies ever made. Anyway, here's the new trailer:



The second is a bunch of "sport-stackers" (also known as "cup stackers") who take a bunch of plastic cups and then stack them and unstack them. Doesn't sound that complicated until you see these kids do it. Behold...

Apparently this has been around since the early 1980s, but is taking on a life of its own. I only found out about it a few weeks ago, but man is it cool. I wonder how someone could get involved in something like that.

Okay bye.

My Musical Week

Some odd music-related stuff from this week...

***********

Last night I went to see Iron & Wine in Buffalo, NY at a place that is now a concert venue but was an old church, and is apparently owned by Ani DiFranco. It was a very cool venue, and we sat in the upper balcony area on the stage right side.

Iron & Wine's first album, The Creek Drank the Cradle, might be my #1 favorite album of all time. It's one of the few albums I own where EVERY song is good or great. In fact it might be the only such album in my catalogue. What's striking about the album is its simplicity; it was recorded on an amateur basis on a 4-track for Sam Beam's own personal use, and it was given (without his knowledge) to a record company -- Sub Pop, which some of you hipsters might recognize -- and it became and underground sensation.

When people say about an album, "it changed my life," I know what that means because of this album. It's not that it made me a better person or that I suddenly could shoot webs from my wrists, but it opened me up to a musical world I never would have thought to explore. Sam Beam's lyrics are some of the greatest ever written, and he is one of the only songwriters in the world whose lyrics could be printed out and be considered a stand-alone poem. Well anyway, I introduced my buddy Bruce to I&W about four years ago, and we both just fell in love withe the guy, his style, his voice, his beard. Everything.

Last night's concert was really strange, though, because that first album grabbed me so much with its lo-fi, DIY approach that I had been lamenting his later albums which were much more highly produced and had lost some of the intimacy of the first album. So when Sam came on stage alone, I knew he was going to have a band, although he did the first couple songs all by himself -- including "Upward Over the Mountain," my favorite song from Sam and one of the few songs that almost makes me cry every time I listen to it.

Weird thing was, his concert, usually so low-key and subdued, turned into an all-out jam, with 6 total instrumentalists all rocking hard and doing extended versions of old hits. His overproduction, about which I had complained so many times, breathed new life into some of his all-too-familiar songs. Awesome guy.

*********

I played the game "Rock Band" this week, and to say that it's an obsession might be pushing it, but goddamn is it fun. I have been playing the bass mostly, but every once in a while I'll grab the mic and belt one out. (My favorites are "Nine in the Afternoon" by Panic! At the Disco and "Aqualung" by Jethro Tull. And though I'm not a fan of Bon Jovi, per se, "Wanted Dead or Alive" is a great goddamn song to belt out.)

My friend Christian and I were going through some of the songs available for download on the Xbox, and there were some really great ones on there. It was very cool to go down a list of songs and listen to 30 second clips and take a flyer on some crap you don't know if you'll even like in a four-minute version. It must have taken developers forever to create that game, not to mention all the royalties.

***********

I have long been a proponent of satellite radio, but now that XM and Sirius have merged, I am a little pissed. Yes, it's cool that I can now get Howard Stern (although Opie and Anthony are still funnier, if much dumber) and all the NFL games in the country. But one thing that has made me super pissed off is that they eliminated The Rhyme, the old-school rap channel. It was #65 on the XM dial, but now there is no #65. Sirius had Backspin, which basically served the same function, but instead of merging the two channels into one, they eliminated the format altogether. The rap that they play on the two remaining stations (Hip Hop Nation and Shade 45, a channel run by Eminem) are all playing shit like T-Pain, Paul Wall, etc. The Rhyme was never a great channel (it always played way too much "old school" stuff from Newcleus and Kurtis Blow, as well as too many "pop-rap" songs from Biggie and Salt-N-Pepa, as well as their strange Tupac obsession), but it was the best that was available, and they did have some great shows like Subsoniq Classix. I will really miss that channel, and if they don't bring it back, I'm going to write them once a week -- Andy Dufresne style -- until they bring it back.

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I made myself a mix-cd for my trip to Buffalo, and I really like it. The last one I had made wasn't all that great in my estimation. (I did give it another listen on the way home and it was actually pretty good after all. Amazing how distance can do that.)

Here is the track list:


On this disc is my current obsession on track #16 -- "Hail, Mary" by Shearwater.

I have a weird, obscure taste in music, some say, where I basically shun almost any songs that are played on the radio (in the playlist above, you will notice Boz Skaggs and AIC noticeably excepted). I actually threw one of my own creations and one of my buddy Bruce's songs on there too, just for the hell of it. But every six months or so, I will get obsessed with a song to the point where I will listen to it over and over again. I rarely listen to an album more than once in a given week, but some songs just grab me by the cojones and get inside my head so that I have to listen to them over and over. Some past examples of these songs include:

• "Ghostwriter" by RJD2, which was my ringtone for about a year
  
• "Fireman So Cold (A-Trak Blend)" by Li'l Wayne
  
• "Jacksonville" by Sufjan Stevens
  
• "Dirtywhirl" by TV on the Radio
  
• "Big Bang" by Aesop Rock
  
• "My Heart" by The Blow
  
• "Can't Face Up" by Sloan
  
• "Any Major Dude Will Tell You" by Steely Dan
  
• "Way Down in the Hole" by Tom Waits (probably because it reminds me of The Wire)
  
• "Avril 14" by Aphex Twin

I now have a feeling that this damn song is going to be added to the list. It's very folky and atmospheric, before building into a crescendo that comes crashing down. I'm not sure what it's about, but to say it is dark is a classic understatement. I don't mean to build it up, because it might not "wow" anybody else, but it just hit me the right way at the right time. If you want to see a video of it, click here.

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So yeah, I know it's not interesting, but it's weird how music kinda ruled my life this week. Hopefully next week my life will be ruled by something more cool. Doubtful.

Election '08 Aftermath

One negative side effect of the Obama win I never anticipated...


Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

I'm Proud of Ya, Onondaga!

Here is how the votes shook out by county in New York state. The size of each circle is the relative size of the county by population. (As you can see, the state had a 1.1% "protest vote" as well.) Click the picture for a larger view.



People tend to think of Upstate NY as conservative country, but it looks like he took the three big cities along I-90 by a comfortable margin. Nicely done!

By the way, if you are either still looking for that last fix of Election season, or if you just love Behind-the-Scenes dirt, make sure you read Newsweek's scintillating seven-part Secrets of the Campaign, starting at Chapter 1. It is a narrative of reports that were forbidden to be published until after election day. It is mesmerizing, no matter who you were for. The more I read it, the more I respect McCain, admire Obama, and feel sorry for Hillary for relying on incompetents.

Joe the Plumber

I know a lot of guys like Joe the Plumber. Where I live, guys like Joe the Plumber are a dime a dozen. Let's check the profile:

White, check.

Blue-collar, check.

Works with his hands, check.

Opinionated, check.

Joe the Plumber, in his circle of friends, is the one that probably goes down to the local townie bar in Toledo, starts knocking 'em back, talking about how this country is going down the tubes because of affirmative action, Mexicans, and a departure from "American values" (whatever the hell those actually are). He probably advocates turning Iraq "into a parking lot!" right before he goes to the jukebox to play that Toby Keith "Put a Boot Up Your Ass" song. When he's done speaking his mind, one of his buddies jumps in and says, "Tell us how you really feel!" as the table erupts into back-slapping and uproarious laughter.

Joe probably watches NASCAR, thinks that "Here's Your Sign" guy is a real cut-up, and gets most of his information from Fox News. He's probably used the term "hell in a handbasket" more than once when referring to the country's future. And because he's a white, blue-collar midwesterner, you better not EVER question HIS patriotism!

Of course, he has no problems questioning anyone else's, especially some BLACK from Hawaii...

Am I calling Joe the Plumber a racist? Of course not, I have no idea if he is or not. But while John McCain seems fascinated that there is a man out there who is so brazen -- so BRAVE -- as to question Barack Obama and call him out on his dastardly "wealth-spreading" (and thereby giving McCain a message that he himself couldn't establish in months of campaigning), I see guys like this all the time. They are in my IT department, at the tire store, on their cell-phones while walking through Wal-Marts. If you are talking about politics at a party, they will jump in with, "No, I'll tell you what, HERE's how it is..." right before telling you how the world REALLY works.

Joe the Plumber is nothing special. Since John McCain pals around with a group of Senators and millionaires, he couldn't see that the handyman with which he became so smitten is about as ordinary a human being as you can get. And since when did it become okay for ordinary people to become famous at such a rapid rate?

If you are impressed by Joe the Plumber, you are probably someone who doesn't know very many interesting people. And the fact that the so-called "liberal media" is constantly trying to get his views on the world, we just might not have that many interesting people in the world at all.

UPDATE:

Please watch this if you need any more proof that this fucktard knows nothing. Atta boy, Rick Sanchez!

Only Four Days Left!!!!! Don't Get Comfy!!!!

Michael Goldfarb: Dipshit

What a fucking embarrassment for this douche...



Oh my God he wants to say "Jeremiah Wright" soooo bad. Say it Goldfarb, SAY IT!