You're Welcome for Ruining the Internet

Today is my Blogoversary. Hurray for me! What a long, strange trip it's been, huh? HUH? All ya'll haters doubted me. You said, "Herbalicious, you ain't BAD..." to which I replied, "Oh yeah? Well you ain't nothin'! YOU AIN'T NOTHIN!" But here I am, a full 365 days later, still going stronger than ever. I'm goin' up, up, up, and soon all ya'll player haters are gonna be shinin' my shoes. So go home and get your #&$!%* shinebox! People said, "Herbalicious, you can't find one single interesting thing to write about, let alone a full year's worth!" Well, yeah, you were right about that one, but so what? Shut up!!! I'll find something blog-worthy eventually, and when I do, you'll all be sorry. You'll say, "Wow, the H-Dawg really found something interesting and insightful to write about. Too bad he's dead now." Then ya'll'll be a sorry bunch!

I'll give you a quick preview of Year Two. Here are some things you can look forward to reading about in the upcoming year.

• Football
  
• Stupid shit that I did
  
• Pictures of my newborn toddlers
  
• Bad things that happened to me
  
• Embarrassing things that happened to me
  
• Celebrities I hate
  
• How much weight I've gained
  
• My iPod
  
• Ju-jitsu (and other forms of self-defense)
  
• Celebrities I think are hot (are your ears ringing, Jude Law?!)
  
• The boys my twin teenage daughters are dating
  
• How to get one side of the Rubik's Cube
  
• Sneaking food into a movie theater
  
• Which baseball cards will appreciate in value over the next five years
  
• Movie quotes
  
• An "irreverent" look at religion
  
• Nutritious dishes you can make in under 40 minutes
  
• A tribute to Lance Bass
  
• Cats (The animal, not the musical, silly!)
  
• My soon-to-be annual pledge drive
  
• World leaders Pat Robertson wants to assassinate now
  
• Rants against the evils of corporate America and the way that big business runs our country
  
• Crossword puzzles I've actually finished
  
• Rappers to which I give mad respect
  

My very first full year of blogging! Good lord, I hope I don't screw it up!