Eye-Browse

Yes, I know, I am obsessed about so many things, and most of them in a self-centered way. Some call me vain. But let's face it, when you are as embarrassingly handsome as I, you tend to meticulously pick apart every aspect of your particular "look." Anyone who knows me knows I spend about 4 hours a day on my looks. Well mother nature helps me with much of that, given that only through sleep can you achieve "bed head."

But anyway, one day, many years ago, and I don't know what day it was, I lost my eyebrows. Or at least about 80% of them. Look at the evidence.

Here is a picture of me from November 1994:



Look at those Dukakisesque, catepillar-like things. It's not like I was that fond of them, but I never realized how promient they were on my face until one day I looked in the mirror and noticed that I didn't really have any.

Look at this picture from March 2006:



Now remember, those are rimless glasses, so there is nothing being covered up. Where the hell did they go? I do have two light, wispy parentheses above my eyes right now, but a far cry from those glorious tufts of yore.

How did this happen? Does male-pattern baldness start at the eyelid? (Not that I ever have to worry about going bald, eh comrades? Eh? ... Ugh...) Did I somehow singe them off in a fire and/or electrical accident of which I was not aware? Is it stress? There isn't anything like an Eyebrow Fairy, is there? Because if so I am owed some compensation. Has anybody ever heard of this?