Saturday, May 10, 2008

Rude Bastards

Three rude things that happened to me within 60 minutes yesterday while at work:

  1. I was waiting for the elevator to get to my floor in the morning. I was already running a little late, and due to my recent fiber-obsession, was eager to get to a working toilet. There were about three people waiting for the elevator when I got to it, but since the elevator wasn't coming, the queue started to pile up. I noticed that the button wasn't lit up (obviously something wrong with the elevator) but the woman who had apprently pressed the button in the first place was leaning her body up agains the unlit button panel. I was wearing my iPod when I noticed that the button wasn't lit, so I nonchalantly snuck behind her and pressed the button so it lit up. The woman turned to me and said, "I pressed it I swear" and I just sorta waved it off, as if saying "no problem." (The woman was apparently too busy gabbing away to notice that we had been waiting an extraordinarily long time for an elevator that only goes six floors.) Finally, the elevator started to move in our direction. By the time it got there, however, the line for to get on had grown. Finally, the elevator doors open, and though I was about the third or fourth person to wait for the elevator (moving to the side, of course, so people not getting on the elevator could get through the line), everyone else packed onto the elevator, leaving me the sole person who could not fit in the car. In fact, another guy walked up to the waiting line as the doors were opening and cut right in front of me to take the last spot. As the doors closed, I made brief eye contact with the lady who prevented the elevator from coming more expeditiously, and I think she could see how disappointed I was in her.



  2. As I was exiting my building -- through the two sets of heavy glass doors -- I looked down for a brief second to take a sip of my coffee. BOOM. The door slammed in my face. The middle-aged African-American lady in front of me didn't even attempt to pretend to hold the door open while I went through. Coffee splashed all over my blazer's lapel. Though she could hear the door thud in my face, and hear me blurt out "godDAMMIT," she didn't even turn around.



  3. My buddy Bruce and I were waiting in line at the coffee shop. Again, although we were in line, we left a small break in the line so that people who were not in line could slip through. Of course, a wiry unshaven piece of white trash with a bushy moustache and a NASCAR cap simply cut in front of us and got in line. No, "Are you guys in line?" No "Excuse me." He just brings his Diet Coke and lottery tickets up to the counter and checks out.


Since tomorrow is Mother's Day, I would like to thank my dear old Mum (and my Dad as well, I suppose) for raising me the right way -- for the most part anyway. I can't imagine being not only so rude and selfish as some people, but also so oblivious to it. I am completely self-aware that I am a stubborn, arrogant, argumentative, raging asshole, so at least I have that going for me.

[Update: Syntactical correction made on the advice of my editor. Thanks T.S.]

5 comments:

Toastie said...

what makes me mad is...well about 70% of the population in DC has no idea what politeness is. you should see the rage that comes with me when I ride the metro down here.

I'm gettin' upset!!

Billy, the next time the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stump, tell 'em to step off I'm doin' the hump.

OHHH!!! With the sex packets son!!

Willie Moe said...

Billy, why do I picture you becoming Michael Douglas in Falling Down? I'd watch that!

Bill said...

Let's not forget, I'm the one who said "Just grab 'em in the biscuits."

And yes, I did just change my license plate to "D-FENS."

Trisha said...

Lets note the real inconsistancy with your story...you said you were wearing a blazer - yeah right..when does that occur :)

Bill said...

Trish: Every Friday baby. Every Friday.