Jive Talk

Here is how the Closed Captioning transcribes the "jive talk scene" from the movie Airplane!. (Subtitles in parentheses.)

PART ONE

Jive Man #1: Sheeet, man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady -- got to be runnin' col upside his head! You know?
(Golly that white fellow should stay away from my wife or I will punch him.)

Jive Man #2: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna be lay no mo' big rap up on you man!
(Yes he is wrong for doing that.)

Jive Man #1: I say, hey, sky. S'other say I won' say? Pray to J., I get the same ol' same ol'.
(I knew a man in a similar predicament and he ended up being sorry.)

Jive Man #2: Knock yourself a pro, slick. Gray matter back got perform' us down, I take T.C.B.in', man.
(Don't be so naive, Arthur. Each of us faces a clear moral choice.)

Jive Man #1: Hey, you know wha' they say: See a broad to get that booty ack...
(Early to bed early to rise...)

Both: ...Lay 'er down an' smack'em yack 'em!
(...makes a mean healthy, wealthy and wise!)

Jive Man #1: Col' got to be! You know? Sheeeeit....
(How true! Golly!)

PART TWO

Elaine: Would you gentlemen care to order your dinners?

Jive Man #1: Bet babe, slide a piece o' da porter, drink side run the java.
(I would like the steak please.)

Jive Man #2: Lookie Here, I can dig grease and chompin' on some butter, then drag it through the garden.
(I'll have the fish.)

PART THREE (with BARBARA BILLINGSLEY)

Stewardess: Can I get you something?

Jive Man #2: S'mo-fo butter layin' to the bone, jackin' me up. Tight me.

Stewardess: I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Jive Man #1: Cutty say he can't hang.

June Cleaver: Oh stewardess, I speak jive. He said that he's in great pain and he wants to know if you can help him.

Stewardess: All right would you tell him to just relax and I'll be back as soon as I can with some medicine.

June Cleaver [to Jive Man #2]: Jus' hang loose, blood. She gonna catch up on ta' rebound on de med side.

Jive Man #2: What it is, Big Momma, my mama ain't raised no dummies -- I dug her rap

June Cleaver: Cut me some slack, Jack!

[All speak jive]

June Cleaver: Chump don' wan' no help, chump don' get da help. Jive-ass dude ain't go to brains any-how!