A Dozen Things I Learned About My Face

I got new glasses the other day, and I found out the following things about my face ... and about life ...

1. My head is wide
   
2. My eyes are very close together, especially for the width of my head.
   
3. Numbing eye drops work great! Bring on the Lasik!
   
4. My nose "wanders"
   
5. It's better for me to have darker glasses because they hide the fact that I have no eyebrows.
   
6. The screws that held my old pair of rimless glasses together were far too long, to the point that they were actually illegal! I could have sustained a pretty severe eye injury if I had had the wrong kind of facial accident.
   
7. I have a mild astigmatism. I also used to think it was "a stigmatism," and that it meant that you had a bad reputation that followed you around. And this was only a couple years ago. And I'm not kidding.
   
8. You have all sorts of little arteries in your eyes that are actually in front of your vision, but that your brain ignores. How cool is that!
   
9. My eyes dilate like a mutha***ka.
   
10. It's true that people with blue eyes are more sensitive to light.
    
11. Darker glasses make my hair look darker (and at this point I need all the help I can get).
    
12. I'm too chicken to pursue the trendy "European" look just yet.