Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Go Away Now

Dear Brett Favre,

There are about fifty things I like about you. I love that you don't shave but once every two weeks. I love that you made Green Bay a destination football town once again. I love your rocket arm. You are goddamned handsome.

Because of my like for you, I have sort of looked the other way when media types like John Madden, Mike Patrick and others praised you without nearly any criticism. When you celebrated after a touchdown, it was because you "loved the game." When you threw a bad interception it was because you were "a gunslinger." When you had two or three bad seasons in a row, it was because you need "a supporting cast." And in the rare event that the media actually did criticize you -- like when you said Javon Walker should shut up and report to camp -- I even agreed with and defended you.

But the one thing that I simply can't abide is your constant waffling on whether you want to retire or not. I would not tolerate it with genuine assholes like Michael Jordan or Roger Clemens, and even though I think you are a good dude, I will not tolerate it with you either.

For the last 4-5 seasons you have been flirting with retirement, saying you couldn't handle the grind, hated practice, wanted to spend more time with your family, blah blah blah. Enough. I am no Packers fan, but you have held this poor team hostage for too long.

They drafted a QB in 2005 -- THREE SEASONS AGO -- in anticipation that you wouldn't be sticking around. Now, I don't think anyone could blame you for wanting to come back for one more season to break some records. (You now hold 9 of them, and one negative: the all-time interception record).

But then you retired. Officially. You made the decision, let the Packers know before the draft, and then rode off into the sunset, with a decent season marking your last.

But then you came back.

Just go away. You've had your time. Stop drawing attention to yourself. Stop threatening to quit only to come back. Go out on top. Don't tarnish your legacy. Don't be Jordan, getting owned by young buck NBA players. Don't be Clemens, making a jackass of himself on an almost monthly basis.

Go away while you still have your dignity. But for Curly Lambeau's sake, just go away.

[Update: After reading this post from Deadspin, I'm not even sure Favre is a "good guy" anymore.]


Jay said...

Yup, I pretty much agree with you. But I'm pretty sure John Madden's supposed to wear the dress.

Bill said...

Oh yeah, Madden is definitely a bottom.